Those Bright and Shining Lights Hurt My Eyes

Hello, me fans. I know that each day, you wanted to bask in my presence, but I haven't been on here in a while. You haven't missed much. Mostly my sleeping habits. And my eating is a glorious thing to behold, if you care to witness it.
My people are letting me go outside. IN THE COLD. AND THE FILTH. But it's fresh air that doesn't reek of human, guinea pig, and kitten. It's a start.
So that hulking,spiky....thing. You know the ones with all the colored lights? Yeah. That's up again. I can't touch it, or the people will spray me with something they fondly call "The Punisher". It's full of this clear, foul smelling (and tasting!) stuff that clings to my fur no matter how much I lick.
And I'm licking right now. Ugh. At least it's fun to watch the kittens; they get it more than I do. Hehehe. One of life's many pleasures is watching those little brats suffer.
The guinea pigs aren't bad, though. Just watch out for that smell.
On another note, have you seen the catnip? The humans have hidden it again.

So I Was Caught Being Active...Oops.

Usually I am about as run of the mill as one cat can get. By the time cats get to my age(with my wisdom!) they should know how to spend their time. Most two legged kind stay way too busy for their own good. . .with this, that, and the other to do. I spend my time resting my eyelids. . .but I was caught being way too active just the other day. There was this tennis ball just laying around the house supposedly for the 9 month old "kittens". It was there just sitting still beside me as I was resting on my side. I reached for it. It was too big and too far to draw it near, so I batted it. It came a little closer so I batted it again. That was it. That was all I needed. Enough was enough. I was exhausted, so I let that round thing be.

March 10th, An International Holiday

This was the day I turned 11. That's middle-aged in cat years, but 11 year old humans are usually pretty small. Of course, none of the focus was on me. One of my humans had a birthday a few days after.

My humans only think that their world is bad. What about mine? How will I survive when none of the focus is on me? Well, I DO get more nap time, but the staff can't ditch the master forever!

After a long day of sleeping.....

I'm ready for a good night's rest. Until the kittens decide otherwise of course. My life is so difficult.

The Banes of My Existence

They're not even a year old yet. The black female is named Pippin, and the black and white male is refered to as Cavalier-Bob. They're evil, I tell you. You can see it in their eyes.

And for the record, I was in the chair first.

My Own Vacation. (By Me)

My humans decided to take a little mini vacation this weekend. WITHOUT ME. They don't bring me anyway, but it would be considerate to rescue me from those kittens once in a while.

So I've decided to plan my own vacation in a few easy steps:
1. Shred a piece of furniture beyond all recognition.
2. Put a magazine ad of Ikea next to Mom's coffee maker.
3. When the family goes to Ikea, hitchhike.
4. After arrival, sneak off to the bed section.
5. Find the model beds.
6. Hide under the covers and sleep.
7. When caught, escape and find family. (They wouldn't DARE leave without me!)
8. Go home.
9. Eat.
10. Sleep.

Now, for a good time to put the plan into action.......

Although this is NOT Ikea, it will do for now.

While the human's away.....

If you're expecting me to say "The cat will play", you're wrong. What I WILL say: The cat will sleep.
There. Suprise of the day.

Love Me, Feed Me, Never Leave Me

The wisdom of my hero, Garfield, is a beautiful thing.

Oh. And then there's me. I'm Sargeant Tibbs Christopher Malone. Call me Tibbs. Everyone does. Either that or Fatty. But that's impolite.

This is a picture of one of my favorite people.......ME.

I was born in Japan, but I moved to the USA with my family a few years ago. So I understand "NO!" in two languages. Not many cats can say that. But then again, cats usually aren't too chatty.

Likes:
-Cat Food
-Naps
-Peanut Butter
-CATNIP
-Naps
-Scratches behind the ears
-Naps
-Soft blankets
-My humans (sometimes)
-Oh, did I mention naps?

Dislikes:
-Loud noises
-Those bothersome kittens
-Big dogs
-Medium dogs
-Little dogs
-Guinea pigs
-Late nights
-Angry humans
-Claw Clipping Day
-Baths
-People food (besides peanut butter)

This'll hold you while I sleep.